The Slump

Hello,
So as you can guess from the title I have hit 'The Slump'. I feel so incredibly bored and uncomfortable it is getting hard to remain upbeat and see an end to this. I can't imagine my back ever feeling normal or part of me. I know this 'Slump' is natural and in my head as I have read on the forums others going through it.
I was more than braced for pain when I went in for my operation and on that I was pleasantly surprised, but looking back I really don't think I was ready for the emotional side of things and I really don't think I'm handling it all that well.
I don't want to be all doom and gloom so I want to let you know that I am off pain medication. I slowly eased myself off it and I'm happy because these things are so strong I really didn't want to get addicted. I am in a wee bit of pain now and again but I'm ok really and if it did get that bad I'd just take something.
So I'm sorry this post isn't very upbeat, I hope I do cheer up soon. I cannot wait to be able to eat sitting up and just feel more comfortable, I am sure that will help my mood.
Everyone keeps saying I am over the worst and doing really well but I think this is by far the worst part. No choice now though but the hang in there.
X x x

Back brace hell

Hey ya, Straight Back Chrissy here! I really mean it, my back is awesome. Mr Tucker and his team are amazing, I can't wait to tell him how pleased i am with the results when I see him in 2 and a bit weeks.
Life is pretty boring, laying about and walking occasionally, I really want to sit in a chair but wearing this back brace is a nightmare, it's sooooooo uncomfortable, I really am sure it is hindering my recovery rather than helping it. I know the drs and nurses know best but it's a nightmare.
My pain must be getting better as twice I have missed my doses of painkillers and not even noticed, I just miss them out completely and carry in taking it at the next scheduled time. I did wake up in a bit of pain last night though and took a Tramadol.
Also I think because I lay about all night and I am not using any energy in the evening I feel so anxious and i cannot keep my feet still, I sounds annoying but it's CRAZY, I makes me wanna bite myself out of frustration or pull my hair our or something. Anyway online today I was looking up something else and I actually found something called 'Restless Feet Syndrome' hownweird is that! I hope I don't end up with that as that surely will send me to the loony bin.
Still waiting on my key board so I will sign off now, but i am still alive and still very much happy, incredibly frustrated but totally optimistic.
5th day of Alan sitting on my bed.....poor little puppy is woRried about his mum :)

I am back walking

Hello,

Chrissy back again! This will probably be short and sweet as I am writing from an iPad and it's not easy!.
So I went home on 8days post surgery and the drive was fine, I was worried about the pain as usual but it really wasn't bad!, this surgery can actually be very suprising when you constantly think the worst.
I have been getting on ok since being home just always uncomfortable. You get used to having an electric bed at hospital and having metal bed sides and you start to rely on them and so when you get home you start again. I am very up and down at the moment, yesterday I felt pretty useless but today I don't!!!!! I just managed a 20min walk! I am so so so so pleased because I have been finding my brace so hard to get used to, don't get me wrong I'm still not there but I'm getting there and that's what counts and what will keep my spirits up! Woo!.
I really want to write an indepth entry on my hospital stay and I will soon as soon as I get a keyboard, but I do want to say for anyone heading towards surgery and is worried about pain, I am the biggest wimp ever ever ever and the pain was not the worst part, they really can control it, you will worry anyway but you will be very surprised.
Tomorrow I hope to manage another hurdle, would be nice if I can have a meal sat up as I can't right now and it's so hard to eat and drink laying down.
Xxxxxx

First Week Post Scoliosis Surgery

Hi thought I should give every on an update because it’s been some time since I posted and getting the hard word from the missus! Nice to have her slightly back to normal :)... So it’s been about 1 week today since her op and it has certainly been up and down...

Chrissy's bandage (Haven't managed to get one with it off yet, but I will)

Day two after the op was surprising good... I was so pleased how Chrissy was doing, she was perky and reasonably upbeat considering what she had been through. The nurse came in first thing in the morning and took her ‘space boots’ as she called them off. These were basically inflatable lower leg wraps which stopped her getting Deep Vein Thrombosis while she was immobile. Mr Tucker came to visit about midday to check up on her. He said she was certainly ahead of the game after standing on the first day but did say that she was probably on a high after having the op over and not to expect all days to be like this.

How right he was... Day 3 after the op was pretty much a 180 degree turn. Chrissy was very very ill, Im not sure it was because of the op and the general anaesthetic or because of the concoction of pain killers she was on. Lesser of two evils it seemed to me really, be in pain or feel sick because of the drugs... By this stage she had been taken of the intravenous morphine but was starting to really feel the pain. They decided to give her morphine orally which I don’t think was the best thing for her. After about an hour she started to dry retch which you can imagine must really hurt after major spinal surgery so they took action and gave her an anti-sickness shot in the bum. She had very little mobilisation on this day because of how bad she had been feeling and was still yet to eat anything.

Day 4 after the op was generally a good day, she woke up ate 3 triangles of toast, some carrots and potatoes for lunch, and a few bits of pasta and soup for dinner. This was the first day Chrissy had managed to eat at all since going under the knife. Being taken her off the morphine completely was the best thing for her in my opinion. Her friend Lindsay also came in to visit in the evening with Krispy Kremes which I am sure also cheered her up. About 10pm Chrissy started to experience quite bad back pain again, didn’t have a great sleep and woke up at 5am feeling really nauseous. The previous night she had had a lot of problems sleeping so they gave her a sleeping pill to knock her out but it didn’t seem to help a massive amount.

The nausea carried through to day 5 and the anti-sickness medicines were not working well at all. So I came up from work to spend some time with her in the hospital. Chrissy was finding it really difficult to drink and I was constantly on her back trying to get her to drink more. The nurses said this may be one of the reasons that she was getting so ill as she was not taking in enough fluids to flush her system of the medicine. One thing that did help her take in the water was eating ice chips. She didn’t eat any food on this day and I even had to hide it from her sight she felt so sick. One positive for the day was the man came in to make a cast for her back brace (picture below) and he said her back looked 10 out of 10!

Straight back Chrissy for the first time

Tim here again thought I would give you a bit of an update on what has been going on in the last few days since Blogger is now back up and running. Last time I mentioned how Dr Tucker told me how well the operation went. Since then both the Anesthetist and Dr Tucker have visited a couple of times to see how she has been doing and I have a few more details to share. 

So originally Chrissy was going to get a fusion from T2 to L4, during the op it was decided that a slightly smaller T2 to L3 fusion would be sufficient to get the straightening they were after which was great news. For those non scoliosis folk out there this basically means that the fusion of the spine is shorter by one vertebra in the lower back. This has means a couple of things, firstly that she will retain more flexibility and secondly apparently she will have a lower risk of getting further back pain in later life.

The other good news was that she didn’t have to have a Costoplasty also called a Thoracoplasty which is a cutting of specific sections of the ribs to realign them after the spine is rotated back to the normal position. Sometimes humps in the chest can form after the rotation which needs this cosmetic adjustment, apparently this is one of the parts of the op that can cause the most pain and prolong the recovery, lucky for us Chrissy didn’t need this :)

I first managed to see Chrissy after the op in the High Dependency Unit of Wellington Hospital a couple of hours after the surgery. As anyone who has taken a general she was pretty out to it, I stayed there until visiting hours where over about 10pm but didn’t manage to get much out of her except a couple mumbling. She had one on one care from the Nurses in HDU which was a nice relief as I knew she would be looked after.

All in all I think she looked amazing considering the trauma she had just been through. The Nurses had fitted her with a catheter so she didn’t have to get up to use the bathroom and she was receiving countless numbers of painkillers through her drip along with a self administering morphine shot to manage the pain if it got a little too much. The morphine worked a treat with the pain however it did mean she needed to be fed oxygen, it also had the side effect of causing nausea which needed to be managed with anti nausea drugs. 

Chrissy in HDU:

DAY 1 after the op:

Chrissy’s biggest fear was never the actual op, she seemed to have complete trust in the Dr Tucker and the team who were going to operate on her. She had done so much research about the procedure and understood everything that was involved and the risks she faced. It seemed to me the thing that scared her most was the potential pain after the operation. So far the team here has been amazing at managing the pain and she has hardly mentioned it, more talking about the general discomfort she is experiencing saying that she felt like she had an ironing board stuck in her back. Guess this is expected when you have a whole bunch of bolts, screws and rods placed in your back to make you straight!

Chrissy got transferred out of HDU to room 401 in the South Building today (if anyone fancies sending flowers ;)). First chore of the day was to sort out the bird’s nest that had somehow developed on her head over night.  If you are going through this op defo recommend putting your hair in plats so you don’t end up looking like a Rasta with one big dreadlock.

Pippy Longstockings:

Second chore of the day was to get the newly Straight Back Chrissy (yay!) out of bed! I know I couldn’t believe it either, so early after such a major op. We had a great Physio who really calmed down a slightly nervous Chrissy. She managed to roll onto her side and push herself up into a sitting position without too much difficultly. The Physio then fitted her for a corset which she is going to wear until she manages to get her back brace fitted next week which I think she is going to have to wear for a couple of months when she is moving about the place. 

After the corset was put on she managed to stand up and do a little march on the spot, I never had any idea that less than a day after major spinal surgery this sort of thing would be possible. She didn’t feel too much pain more discomfort before she was slightly overcome by nausea brought on by the 3 shots of morphine she took in anticipation of the Physio coming to make her stand up. 

All in all a pretty good day I think. Not to mention the truck loads of flowers, penguin and monkey she has received from all those that care. She loves them all!

Breaking News!

So Mr Tucker just called me and told me everything went fantastically with the operation. So pleased I feel like jumping over the moon.Waiting till we are allowed see her now, more to follow...

Scoliosisbirdy goes under the knife

Hi Tim (Chrissy’s boyfriend) here. I am helping the little scoliosis bird update her blog while she is unable to... Hopefully I don’t bore you are to death!

So this morning we got up at 4.30am to travel to Wellington Hospital for 7am. We arrived and got put into a lovely little room which I hope Chrissy will be comfortable in. From then on it was go go go we had a visit from the nurse to take more bloods, from the anaesthetist to explain how he was going to knock her out, a doctor responsible for monitoring the spinal cord during the op who attached as sorts of wires and ended up making her look a little like C-3PO from Starwars . Mr Tucker then paid us a visit to ask is we had any final questions before the op. Chrissy was getting a little anxious by this stage understandably, so she popped a couple of chill pills which seemed to relax her... In fact she said that I had developed 4 eyes and 2 mouths after taking them!  Where was mine I wanted to ask. Couple of photos:

Chrissy's Back Before:

Bleeding the bird:

Wiring the bird up:

I have to say Chrissy was amazing and so brave I can’t even imagine going through anything like this. I am so proud of how she has handled the lead up to this op.

I went down with the doctors to theatre to hold her hand while she went under at about 10.30am its now just passed 1.30pm so she is 3hrs into her op of what should be a 3 to 4 hour operation. I can’t explain how nervous and anxious I am feeling sitting in the hospital restaurant with her mum waiting for her. I can’t wait to see her little face again, give her a hug and kiss and know that everything has gone ok.

Will keep you updated.

Operation is TOMORROW!

So the big day is tomorrow, and im so nervous I don’t even feel like writing in my blog!, which is weird coz usually I love rambling on to myself and posting it online.

The best thing is that I am so busy at work and seeing people and sorting stuff out that I don’t really have too much time to wallow.

Funny how at times like this you really do find out who the people are that care about you, and luckily for me its sooo many people! J. I am sure all this support is going to make my recovery so much easier. From what I have read this next week will be the worst and then its mainly about keeping a positive attitude which anyone who knows me will know that’s NOT easy for me!! Hahahaha.

Anyway I guess I should sign off from this blog for now and when I next write in here I will be all straight backed. My boyfriend Tim have said he will update my blog with my progress.

Wish me luck!!!!

Strong As An Ox Chrissy xxx

3 days to go!!!!!!

I am finally back from my holiday!, I have to say I had the BEST time and I really think it was the best holiday I have ever had. I went to Thailand 4 years ago on the way back from Australia and New Zealand and I really did enjoy it then but this time it was SO much better!.

It really couldn’t have come at a better time, it took my mind off my operation so much I barely thought about it. I think I woke up once in the night from a nightmare about it but that was the only time.

Now I am back I have so much work to do and so much catching up with people and washing to do that I hope it will keep me preoccupied.

I do want to stress to you all that I AM SCARED. I am remaining up beat and busy but it doesn’t take away from the fact that I am scared, in fact I would go so far as to say I am petrified. But I think it is only normal. I am not worried about anyone messing up or anything like that I just know that this is going to be so painful and obviously no one likes pain. L.

I am getting so much support from my family, my boyfriend, my best friends, my work friends and my boyfriends parents have just been the absolute best J Not only did they put me and Tim up in the most amazing 5* hotel in Bangkok they also sent me a large voucher for Amazon so I can buy loads of books J

Thanks again for all the emails you have been sending me and I WILL reply before I go in for my operation.

Here is a nice relaxing picture of me happy in Thailand.

Pre-Op Assessment

Today was the day of my Pre Op exam and I was slightly nervous. Even for this!. I think it was the whole ‘blood taking business’.

Anyway I arrived early with my entourage of 1 boyfriend and the nurse asked me about 1 million questions, so many questions that I started to think I was lying and I was having trouble answering the easiest of questions because i kept thinking I was lying. Very weird!. Im sure its because I over think everything. But you don’t really want to lie on something like this as it all helps make your operation go as smoothly as possible.

So I got asked a lot of questions and had my blood pressure, ECG heart rate thing, checked for MRSA, and the bit I was dreading The Blood Tests. It actually wasn’t bad once she put the needle in she just filled up the vials and I was looking the other way speaking to the other nurse and to be honest I didn’t feel a thing, it was only when I looked down I saw she had filled up 6 little tubes. Im only teeny I didn’t know I could cope without that blood!, anyway its now the afternoon and im still alive so its ok.

I was given so much info on pain relief and what to expect that I feel calmer J.

Thank you again for the emails I have been getting. This blog is so therapeutic for me and I hope post surgery it might be useful for someone facing the same thing.

If you would like to email me you can at handscanderson@gmail.com

Scoliosis Spinal X Ray - The before pictures!

I got a CD with my spinal x rays on it. So I thought I would share these with you so you can see what Mr Tucker is going to be dealing with. These are me ‘straight’ on.

I have SOOO much to do this weekend, I am starting to think that booking a holiday right before surgery was not the smartest move. Although I had booked the holiday first so it was actually booking the surgery after the holiday, either way NOT smart as I have SO much to do.

I am picking a chair up this weekend so that is one thing I can tick off and my car passed its MOT today (woohooo). Also I got a lovely gift in the post at work yesterday, it was a kindle! A complete surprise a actually really thoughtful as it will be so easy for me to read on holiday now! (no packing heavy books) although I think Tim actually got it for me so it is easier for me to read in hospital, either way I am so pleased with it I have downloaded my first book and I can NOT put it down!.

Scoliosis is not ugly

I have been reading on the forums that girls with Scoliosis tend to suffer really low self confidence. Its made me really sad to read a whole thread about people going on holiday and not even wanting to wear a bikini because they are so paranoid about their spines. My Scoliosis is pretty bad 2 x mid 60 degree curves and obviously I don’t love having it but I have tried my hardest not to let it bother me, mainly because no one notices it unless they have it themselves. I have been out shopping or on the beach and seen another girl with Scoliosis but is purely because I am looking at peoples spines constantly. I am sure I am abit spine obsessed!

Scoliosis is one of those things that people only seem to notice when you point it out to them. To be honest I have never really ever told people about my back problem and only two people have ever mentioned it to me and that was a boyfriend who was rubbing sun cream into my back, and a photographer who didn’t realize it was my back that was the problem they thought it was my leg!. Im sure someone else noticed as well but they never said anything.

I did modeling for 2 years and was constantly getting dressed and undressed in front of people who were all looking at me and my Scoliosis was never a problem.

Spinal Fusion is a massive operation to undertake and I would never get it done for vanity purposes (and that’s saying a lot as I am the vainest personJ). I like the way I look even now and if my spine was stable I would not even consider this surgery. The fact is that my spine is getting worse and I will be in a lot more pain and that is my reason for surgery. Obviously I don’t want to be all curled up when I am older too.

In this picture you can notice my back is not as flat as it should be, but would the untrained eye?

In these pictures you can see my hip sticks out more than the other, but would anyone ever notice?

But this is my fav body shot as I don’t think you can tell at all J trick photography!

Length of Fusion T2 to L4

So I spoke to Mr Tuckers secretary to find out how long my fusion will be and when you actually look it up on a diagram of a spine it doesn’t look too cool.

I will be fused from T2 to L4. ARGH!

Donated Chair

So, since joining http://www.scoliosis-support.org/ I have been feeling so much… well…..support I suppose J.

I had an email the other day from a nurse who mentioned that I may not be able to go on holiday as you are not allowed surgery until you are back 6 weeks. I panicked! But then calmed down and called around it took a lot of the day to get a concrete answer but I CAN still go on holiday, I should wear flight socks though and take some asprin on the flight (guess that helps me not get blood clots).

So I am now VERY excited about my holiday.

Also I have been asking around about things to take to hospital with me, I had thought of all kinds of things but it didn’t ever cross my mind to think of a CHAIR. That’s probably the most obvious thing as well. Anyway a lovely lady is donating me her daughters chair. Im so pleased I just need to make my boyfriend go and collect it (my dads car is more like a tank and I cannot drive it!). I am hoping I may be able to ask her a few questions about the surgery also. I don’t think I can ever pick too many peoples brains about this.

So as things start approaching I am going to spend this weekend packing for my holiday and making sure I have enough bikini’s to wear J. And I have all the girls from work coming round on Sunday to meet Alan and Splat and have some nice girlie chats and nibbles.

I feel pretty relaxed about everything at the moment, I just hope I am brave enough to actually go through with it!.

Thank you my spinal fusioned friends!!.

I have been getting so many encouraging emails from people stumbling across this blog who have had the operation. I cannot tell you how brilliant it is to read ‘its the best decision I have ever made’ which I have now read quite a few times.

I really do appreciate everyone giving me tips and telling me about their experiences. Obviously it will be painful but as it is often described ‘manageable’ (although if I experience any pain I often make a right song and dance about it, so we will see on that one!!!).

If any of you can think of things I should take to the hospital with me that might make mine or my families stay more comfortable please let me know, and I am going to try and put a list together (who would have thought I would ever get organized about anything!!).

I am currently looking online for a little table that can go over my bed for when I get home, and a tempur mattress and pillow as these seem to be popular amongst recovering spinal fusioneers.

Anyway, please keep sending me your lovely emails, I don’t think I can ever read too many blogs or too many success stories. And I really really hope one day this blog might help someone else!.

Pre-Op Appointment

So I got my Pre-Op appointment. To be honest I didn’t even know I would need a Pre-Op or even what one is!! (such a newbie to this whole surgery thing). Having read A LOT of Scoliosis blogs and forums (www.Scoliosis-Support.org  if you are keen to know) I realized I will need to have one of these. As I am in Thailand right before surgery for 3 weeks and then I go straight in I thought I had better let the hospital know.

My appointment is 18April at 9am, haven’t a clue what it will involve although I am sure I heard the woman mention blood tests which does not sound too cool. Anyway I am big enough and ugly enough to cope with that. Not much choice.

I have to say from the Receptionist, to the Secretaries to Mr Tucker himself everyone has been so helpful and lovely. They seem to understand how frightening it is and are just super friendly.

I am trying to get everything organized for before I go on holiday, I need a bed to be sorted out, my animals to be looked after, I wanna be packed, I want to have bought some kind of implements to help me when I get home.

Also I forgot to mention my dad, who I will be staying with when I get home, has decided that when I have my operation it’s a perfect time to move so he has found a new cottage and will be completing just after I get out of hospital it looks like. I really don’t think he realizes that looking after me is going to a nightmare. I hope I am not going to be too much of a burden.

Money Money Money!!!

Good Afternoon! So it turns out that BUPA will no pay for all my surgery fee’s as Mr Tucker doesn’t charge within ‘their’ guidelines. So there will be a shortfall to pay of about £1,500 and that isn’t including the out patients fee’s which will need to be paid by me when I am discharged as I have used up all my £1000 outpatients allowance on appointments and xrays.

Bupa’s recommendation was to find a different Surgeon. Are they crazy!! The whole reason to go private is to get the best possible Surgeon and not have to wait around. To be honest having my back operated on is biggest deal in my entire life and I have decided that the only man for the job is Mr Tucker.

Anyway I will discuss it with my dad and see if I can borrow the money from him. To be honest with you its not like I am going to be doing much for a good few months so it might be easy to save!, unless I go mad with bordem and get addicted to online gambling. If that happens I am in trouble as I have no self control with those kind of things. When I went to Vegas I was playing slot machines right up until it was time to board the plane (who has slot machines in an airport?!!! VEGAS BABY!!).

I am gonna try and ring Bupa and see if there is any room for maneuvering.

Scoliosis Surgery Blogging

HR were brilliant about the operation and its such a weight of my mind for them to be so supportive. The last thing I wanted/needed was to be a burden to work and worry about that throughout my recovery.

I haven’t really been about to think/talk about much else since yesterday it all seems so much more real now to have the date set.

So this morning I thought I would put my mind at rest a read some other Scoliosis Surgery blog and survival stories. There are some brilliant ones out there, and it really has helped me feel stronger and I kind of thing if they can get through it then why cant i?.

Laurens Scoliosis Blog Article

This is a blog post by Lauren, she shows you pictures and she looks AMAZING after her operation, all straight and just beautiful, I wanna be like Lauren, he scar has faded so well just a teeny tiny line. I emailed her to say thank you for being so inspirational. I really hope after my operation people will read this blog and it will help them just like everyone else’s blogs are helping me.

If I come across any other reading material that has made me smile I will pass it on…

If anyone reading this is going through the same things as me, or has been there, done that and got the tshirt then please feel free to email me on handscanderson@gmail.com I am quite surprised by the amount of hits I am getting already!

Dr's Appointment Results

Also my MRI results were normal which is brilliant, one less thing.

Mr Tucker seems so nice and has such a lovely sense of humour, he is very good at getting across the fact that it is a HUGE operation to undertake but also keeps it as light hearted as possible. He is also very honest about the complications that may arise and wasn’t shy is telling me how much pain I will be in (although I wish he had lied! Hahah).

He says that it shouldn’t really affect my mobility in anyway and I shouldn’t get any further complications throughout my life, in pregnancy etc (although having an epidural will need to be put in very low down, but its still possible which is good). Obviously in all major surgery there are risks but these seem minimal in comparison to what will happen if I don’t get it done.

He sounds like he does these operations ALL the time and I really am not a special case, I guess its like me processing a Travel Request form J just a very very complex one!.

So this morning I came in and told Lindsay (my boss/best friend) how it all went at the drs and she as always she makes me feel better and THEN I get a called from Sharon who is Mr Tucker’s secretary and she has scheduled me in for the surgery on 12^th May ARGH. That is 3days after Thailand, which I initially thought would be good but actually, lets face it I am going to be sunning myself petrified of going home!! Hehehe oh well I just need to harden the fuck up - as another one of my dearest friends would say.

My next 2 obstacles are getting it signed off by BUPA and talking to Jo in HR and getting my time off approved. Which reminds me the dr did say that I should be ok to work from home after about 6 weeks, well he kind of hinted that I could probably work from home before that but I think it really does depend, he didn’t really seem to what to be held to anything. Either way I love my job and I know I will be so bored (and probably in agony, ARGH) that I will actually miss everyone and working. 3 months off for getting your back sliced and diced really will not be fun.

Lindsay (boss) is going to speak to Jo (HR) this afternoon and I am really nervous about this so we shall see what happens there….

Tonight in honour of pancake day I am going to make my Timmykins a nice pancake with my posh frying pan and forget all about my curly wurlyness.

Day the of the Dr Appointment!

Today is the day, I have my MRI scan CD in my handbag, I have my dad coming to meet me at the train station and I have a nervous tummy.

It is the day for my follow up meeting with Mr Tucker to discuss the surgery. I am pretty nervous, I don’t know why!! Its not like he will get his scalpel out there and then and cut me open!, so goodness knows why I am nervous.

My kiwikins AKA my boyfriend is arriving back from the Kiwi Wilderness at 11.55am to be precise! That’s if his flight lands on time and then he needs to drop his bag off and get to the drs so I don’t think he will make it. Which is ok as I think that’s even more nerve wracking. Its weird, im weird J.

Will write again tomorrow after the appointment.