Claustrophobic Chrissy's Open MRI Anxiety

So, I have seen pictures of the open MRI. Wish I didn’t look now because its completely not what I expected!

To be honest I don’t really know what I expected I guess I thought it was like a shallow donut type machine that you went through with your legs out one end and your head out there other, so you were looking out at the ceiling. But it doesn’t look like that in the pictures. It has open sides but then still what looks to me like a low top. I can handle closed sides but I seem to HATE the feeling of not being able to sit if I really really needed too.

I know its weird, I know I am very weird.. but ARGHHH. And my mum cant come with me coz she has to work and I have some lovely friends at work who have offered to come but I think that they might make me laugh and I think I would also feel self conscious, maybe I will ask my dad but I ask him for so many favours I feel abit bad.

Fancy this, worried about an OPEN MRI when I have a whole bucket load of surgery that will be 10 million trillon times worse.

I am feeling pretty anxious a lot at the moment I am blowing everything up into such a huge deal. I feel like I have constantly had a huge amount of caffeine and it’s a sick wired feeling and its horrible. I had to take a valium at work yesterday and I hadn’t taken any of that for a while and it made me feel so weird and drunk I fell up the stairs on the way to a meeting. Was fun though, I would prefer to feel like that and chilled.

I have my follow up meeting with Mr Stewart Tucker booked on Monday 7March, which is the day my beloved Timiney Cricket gets back. He arrives into Gatwick at about 11am and my appointment is at 15.15, I really hope he can make it as my mum cant because she is in Boston, of course my Dad will be there supporting me but im pretty sure Tim will have some good questions up his sleeve.

I decided against going back for my Theraflex appointment today I emailed and cancelled and explained how I will now be having surgery, but I will definitely go back and see her if I do get any pain between now and then.